The Perkins Road Trip That Never Happened
by QuoteCentric
Summary: A series of three short drabbles born of a PM conversation, an online video, and staying up too late. Strangely, no alcohol was needed.  Vector and his sister drive from...wherever Despicable Me takes place...to Pennsylvania.


**Disclaimer : I do not own ''Despicable Me" or any of it's characters. They belong to Illumination Entertainment. I do however, own my OC here. I'm receiving no profit for this work, I did it for fun and laughs.**

**Okay, I gotta explain this. Back when I was working on expanding my one-shot fic, 'Lunch Break and a Can of Worms' (yes, I'm still working on it guys!) into a full-blown fic, I did some research on a few things like sibling interaction for inspiration. One of the things I found was this brilliant little vid featuring The Nostalgia Critic and his brother Rob called 'Off to Beat The Nerd.'**

**Oh man, was it fun to watch. And it reminded me very much of how Vector and Victoria would act together. Who's Victoria? She's Vector's older and much more level-headed sister. She's an OC that can be found in my other, larger fic mentioned above. And, although you don't technically have to read that fic to enjoy this one, if you don't watch the vid , you'll probably be lost. So, go ahead and take the time to watch it...it's okay, I'll wait. :) Just a warning, there is a fair amount of cursing in this vid, mainly the 's' word, the 'f'' word, and a few rude hand gestures: h ttp: / /thatguy withtheglasses. Com/ videolinks/thatguywiththeglasses/nostalgia-critic/2064-off-to-beat-the-nerd**

**Now, after I watched this vid, I was having a conversation with DPShrineInClosetGirl about what it would be like if it was actually was Vector and Victoria on that road trip-which resulted in the three drabble/scenes below. DP loved them, and we both agreed that it would be fun to post them here. **

**Don't take these scenes to seriously. They never happened. They are just the result of a wandering mind having a good laugh.**

**XXXXXXX**

**The Perkins Road Trip That Never Happened:**

Victoria: "C'mon, Bro. Haven't you ever wanted to visit the...lighthouse state?

Vector: "That's the only thing Michigan's good for? Lighthouses? Why would I want-"

he suddenly notices this huge, gaudy looking lighthouse out of the corner of his eye.

Vector: "That's...that's going on on top of my pyramid!

Victoria: "What, now?"

Vector: "Pull over,Sis!" In his haste, he has already hopped out of the car, weapon in hand. "We're laying siege to that thing!"

And Michigan was never the same again...

XXXXXXX

Somewhere down the interstate, on a half closed-off road, a construction vehicle, a few trucks and a few men stand around, doing nothing. Their sabbatical is interrupted by a white car speeding towards them on the closed-off portion of the road. Above it float two...lighthouses? strapped together and a large billboard cheerfully displaying the words "Welcome to Michigan!" The car skids to a stop in front of them and out step a smallish, brown-haired man and a very tall, thin woman. The two, despite differences in size and demeanor are obviously related. They both share the same strange, bespectacled face.

Vector: (looks around sarcastically) "Diabolical. Dia-FREAKING-bolical."

One of the men speaks up: "Ummm?"

Vector: (ignores them) "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were pros!" "I mean, really! Look at this! I've heard of stealing stuff before but this...what did you say they were stealing, Sis?"

Victoria: (who had been observing all this with snobbish irritation) "Time."

Vector: "Time theft! Time. Theft. Pointless stuff!" (he says all this in a 'geez, what is wrong with you?' tone) "You're planning to drive all roadists nuts with this, aren't you? I've never seen road cones used for such twisted purposes!"

Victoria: "You people are sick."

Vector: "We got stuck behind this stupid Prowler thing because of you!"

Victoria: "Well, we were stuck behind it. You can see what's left of it down the road."

Vector: "Unbelievable."

There actually is a rather large plume of smoke rising down the road a few miles down.

One of the men finally speaks up: "Are those...lighthouses up there?"

Vector: "Lighthouses? What lighthouses? Sis, you see any lighthouses?"

Victoria: (without turning around) "Nope."

Vector: "But then again..." (and his eyes narrow) "I don't see any construction going on either. So, you're seeing things, but, we're not seeing things..."

Victoria: (lowers her glasses to glare at them under her spectacles) "So, one of us is crazy..."

One of the workers: "Now see here, Miss..." And he suddenly notices that the two strangers have pulled some rather nasty weapons out of nowhere.

Victoria: "When this is all over, we wage war on Quebec."

Vector: "Darn straight."

XXXXXXX

On the side of a road lined with trees, a tall, thin woman is seen storming away from a white car-and from a much shorter man who is currently trying to catch up with her.

Vector: "Sis?"

Victoria makes no sign that she heard him.

Vector: "Sis, I'm sorry! Could you slow down?"

Victoria still doesn't respond. In fact, she speeds up.

Vector: (who is starting to pant from the exertion) "Sis, could you-I just-I didn't know any better! I—WOAH!"

And he ducks just in time to avoid a shot aimed for his head.

Victoria: "You're darn right you didn't know any better!"

Vector: ( manages to hide behind a clump of bushes and pulls out his piranha gun.) "Okay, okay! I get it! My bad!"

Victoria is still ranting: "Just who was it that said 'Oh, it would be like, super-cool if my sister would come with me to Pennsylvania! I think it would be so great if my sister would drive me cross country! No one else wants to come with me and I can't do it by myself because I suck at directions!'"

Vector: (pops out from behind the bushes with the piranha gun aimed at his sister)"I never said anything like that!"

Victoria: (aims her gun back at her brother): "Yes you did! You went on and on about how this could all be like one big 'brother/sister bond time' road thing! And then you freak out less than two hours into it!"

Vector: "I did not!"

Victoria: "Did to!"

Vector: "Did-who got us stuck in Michigan? Who's the one who took the wrong turn and landed us in Michigan?"

Victoria: "Who's the one who made me sing the Mikado? ALL of the Mikado? I HATE GILBERT AND SULLIVAN!"

Vector: "What else were we gonna do? I was BORED! You were supposed to keep me in good spirits and stuff! And instead I get like 10 hours of nothing but the engine running! That would make anyone freak out!

Victoria: "Well excuse me, but I was driving!"

Vector: "OOO! 'She's driving!' That's your excuse for everything!"

Victoria: "At least I have an excuse! What was your excuse for dragging us out here in the first place? What was..." (suddenly, her face collapses into one of confused horror.) "...Why were we going to Pennsylvania again?"

Vector: (his face sinks into the same expression as his sister's. He lowers his weapon. He actually looks a little scared.) "I don't know..."

**Perhaps now would be a good time to cue the Twilight Zone theme. Thanks for reading, I hope it made you laugh!**


End file.
